from TXTland

On vacation in an Internetless region, or rather can you believe an area that tries to function on DIAL-UP speeds?

Result: Blog suspended until January 3 when I can upload postings that take less than an hour to arrive on the blogsite.

Give you three guesses where this is being sent from:

(a) Auckland, NEW ZEALAND.
(b) Rotorua, NEW ZEALAND.
(c) Napier, NEW ZEALAND.

Correct answer: All three... UNTIL THEN!

NO WONDER the NZ dollar has almost halved in value against USD, JPY and EUR in the last 4 months!

Weather's nice though... would post a photo but graphic capabilities are reduced to lopsided smileys :-)

Cultural extinction

Kristian lunches with the Research Committee Chairman who says Kristian faces a problem in his application for overseas study leave.

...

Research Committee Chair: You want to go to Peru? Potatoes?

Kristian: It’s not just the four thousand varieties of potato, no. It’s an investigation into Amerindian cultures and languages.

Research Committee Chair: Woolly. No thrust. It’ll be turned down.

Kristian: But cultures and languages are important.

Research Committee Chair: There are travel warnings out for Peru. Non-essential travel banned.

Kristian: Could we reword it. How about Cultures and languages facing EXTINCTION?

Research Committee Chair: Extinction. Hmm. Could work. Sense of danger gives it some purpose, gives it some thrust.

...

Christmas decorations

Chatter among barbers about brightening up their shop to attract more customers...
...

Stephen S: Tinsel, we need tinsel.

George L: And stars. Stars hung from the tinsel loops.

Robert R: Watch it. Careful what shape the stars are. No star of Davids.

Stephen S: Sure. And we have to be careful the tinsel hanging from the mirrors doesn't obscure the mirrors. Customers throats could get nicked... Ha!

George L: Hats. We wear those red and white pointy hats. I like them.

Robert R: Can't. That's what Santa Claus wears. All our customers are Muslim.

...

Fontographer

To people who are not digital natives, there are a lot of neologisms to come to terms with.

...

What is it you do?

I’m a blogger.

What exactly does a, a …

…blogger…

…do?

I blog. Special kind of blog though. Mostly about fonts. So you could say I’m also a fontographer.

And fonts are…?

Typefaces. Letters. On a computer screen. I also do graphics. It all comes together in videographs.

That’s a lot of graph-work. Are you a graphiti artist?

...

Cat café

Cerise visits a cat café, and after sitting watching the 30 odd cats cavort about the salon, believes she can hear them talking.

...

Superior Cat: Many people come here. I study them. My conclusion is that we cats are in every way superior.

 Abby: Agreed. Have you ever heard any human talk to us which persuades you that he or she is sane?

Superior Cat: Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. We cats have never forgotten this.

 Abby: But not everyone who comes in here likes us. Just the other day, I heard someone say cats are sneaky and lazy.

 Superior Cat: Very true, and we have many other fine qualities as well.

 Abby: But what do we do if we get into trouble?

 Superior Cat: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

...

Ad hoc cooking

Macon explains his ad hoc approach to cooking.

 ...

Macon: I adapt. I borrow. Cooking depends on what is to hand, the art of cooking lies in the details, the subtleties, the context.

Brother: Context?

Macon: It’s like a battle. You seize whatever will get the job done. Example, This lamb has a lamby taste, yes, but there is mixed in the flavor of tomatoes, the sniff of garlic, the texture of onion. And alongside, the potatoes, bathed in a mushroom sauce, does that not…

Brother: What?

Macon: Is it not suggestive?

Brother: Yes. It suggests you gave up serving up a soup and instead turned it into a mushroom sauce for the caulis and brocs.

Macon: Exactly. In my cooking, nothing is ever as planned. TJH. Things just happen. QS.

Brother: QS?

Macon: Que sera. Whatever will be, will be.

...

Face muscles

Cat girl interfaces with the vet.
...

Cat girl: Cute.

Vet: Nice smile. Know how many muscles a cat has in its face?

Cat girl: Er…

Vet: OK. How many muscles in the human face?

Cat girl: Twenty?

Vet: More.

Cat girl: Forty?

Vet: More.

Cat girl: Fifty?

Vet: About that. From the buccinators to the occipitsla frontalis. About ten times as many as a cat.
...